Determination...

Determination…

Friday, was not my first adventure in LA/ Hollywood; but it is one that is worth writing about. First let me start off with a disclaimer, no hearts were broken, no large amounts of money were given to the poor after robbing a bank and no animals were hurt in this debacle; other than the cougar that I met at the Music Box (I’ll explain that later). We were determined to have an adventure; and I like to think we did.

The people that were involved consisted of a very talented and beautiful lady who I consider a best friend (Ann), her boyfriend (Mickey) who I give major credit for after scoring us some tickets to a concert AND After Party tickets for FREE. (Yes my inner Jew just popped out there for a quick second), and last but not least my newly elected wingman who not only reminded me of a Barney Stinson but followed the Bro Code to the T (E Man).

The night started off like any other, friends trying to meet up. Don’t you hate that feeling…its like your anticipating the night waiting for your friends to show up, or your racing through traffic cutting off old ladies or gangsters riding it “low” while trying to get to the place your meeting everybody. But once everyone is together the night can begin. So I’m going to compare this feeling to cocaine; you know its bad for you but once you take it your as happy as a fat kid running around with a donut in its mouth. (I don’t take drugs so don’t get too excited, it’s just an example people). Once we all met up, I was that fat kid with a donut in its mouth. We all met at a place called La Velvet Margarita; located in Hollywood off Cahuenga Blvd. and Selma. The atmosphere looked as if it belonged in a pimped out hell for Latinos. Seriously, there were many enticing sites to view at this restaurant. The not so enticing part was the food. Nowhere have I spent more than $25 for Mexican food for one person (There goes my Jew again). Honestly, I would not pay that much for Mexican food ever again (watch, I‘m going to eat these words later; feel free to chastise me when I pay that much for Mexican food) it was truly bland. Granted I was a little tipsy, but I think when you’re tipsy everything tastes amazing. I have never heard a stoner tell me a cheeseburger from McDonalds was horrible. Thus I’m not going to eat at this place again. Either way the dark lighting, dancing marionettes, and Sombrero lined walls made the atmosphere what it was meant to be; an awesome place to get drunk.

We left that dark hole where drinks weren’t cheap and the food wasn’t either to a more expensive but definitely worth it place…the Music Box. If you have never been there, I suggest you go. Because seriously it was ridiculous. One, we got in for free, which is always amazing. Two, the place was packed full of people MY age (though there were some cougars on the hunt). Last, we got to see a band that I have never heard of before…Local Natives. Before I tell you about the Local Natives lets start off with the Music Box first. Mickey got us passes to the balcony, roof top party, and After Party. That alone was a crazy adventure. E Man, being the newly appointed Wing Man explained his method of girls and the games they play as we partied the night away on top of the roof.

He starts off saying that all women like a challenge; agreed! Then he explains to me the smoking technique that women use to get what they want, even if it’s not the guy their after.
Two guys will be smoking, a women walks up. The women ask the guys for a smoke and a light. She strikes up a pointless conversation, not trying to be rude and shows the guy she’s not really there for the smoke; when technically she is. The guys respond with a smile, entreat her conversation and ultimately are left to dust after the girl gets what she wants and leave.

SPOILER ALERT
If any of you are NOT looking to get with E Man, please jump a paragraph and DON’T read this story coming up. You will be challenged by this next statement, attempting to try this out and you will ultimately end up in bed with him.

E Man's plan around this is to call the girl straight out. Telling the girl that all she wants to do is take his cigarettes and leave. She will protest against this and will try to strike up a conversation. He will again call her out on her bullshit while she tells him what she does, why she’s here, or where she’s from. She WILL, and trust me this happens, be enticed by this call out. Then (In most cases it depends on the girl) in her drunken stage will whisper in his ear that she wants him, or that she wants to see him later. (No offense E man, the girl that did this at first was a 6…not much to show; BUT it proved to work even on an 8 later in the night). NOTE: Some girls are different, while most girls are like this…I know…that’s why I don’t smoke; I’d run out of cigarettes all the time.

So…while E Man and I are having a blast flirting with women and testing out E Man’s cigarette theory, the concert of Local Natives begins inside. We travel into the dark, murky, stuffed up room to watch them play. IT WAS HOT. I’m not talking about the band, I’m talking about the temperature, and it must have been 100 degrees in there. Either way the band did justice to their CD’s and their fans. Girls went wild, some guys too (it’s Hollywood) and ultimately it was a great show. While we watched the show a couple of cougars began to flirt with us. Its like they knew our weakness, but we fended them off; telling them that no amount of alcohol will get me ravaged by a cougar. Ok, we never said that but after awhile the cougars backed away seeing their prey were fast to get away. Seriously, we ran a couple of times from some cougars.

After the show, we went to the After Party. When anyone thinks of an After Party, especially for a band; they think large amounts of free alcohol, blaring music, band members fighting off girls trying to rip their shirts off. Well this wasn’t the case. It was very laid back, and when I mean laid back, I mean 4 people were occupying the roof with us. The band members showed up and we all said “hi” telling them they had a great show, that whole thing. Seeing how it was such a failure, and our buzz was going away fast we decided to wet our palates and head down to our last stop for the night…The Burgundy Room.

Though it might seem that the bars name was dedicated to Ron Burgundy because he’s a legend; it was not. The initial reaction when we walked in this bar was…where the damn light is! This place was as dark as a horror film. The scarce lighting cascaded large shadows all over the place. To a person who’s drunk…it’s a heaven because now one will ever see you throw up…or drop a candle glass that you “borrow” from the Music Box. While we finished filling ourselves up with large amounts of alcohol; we ended the night with a bang. Well technically a huge scratch against a side door of your DD’s car. That’s right, while pulling out of the only parking spot available in Hollywood we accidentally scraped the side of E Man’s car with the building. That’s right…I said the building…it came out at us! All in all it was a great night, after paying for overpriced Mexican food, testing out theories on women, and drinking our sorrows away it was a great night. We were determined to have an adventure that night; and we succeeded at doing so. I hoped you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed experiencing it. No run ins with cops yet, that ill save for future adventures. 